Sabotage PR: Public Relations and Marketing Solutions

Birth Control Solution

In Promotions / Strategies on August 18, 2012 at 15:23

There are several options on the market for women when it comes to birth control. But Having No Sex is proven to be the most effective product out there and is 100% reliable. Having No Sex is not always a preferred choice by ladies and is sometimes forced by the situation i.e bad luck, but non-the-less, baby and even STD proof! Having No Sex is a large box of chocolates with 28 pieces representing the cycle: 21 milk chocolate  and 7 dark chocolate for period days. This method is aimed at satisfying ladies when they simply aren’t getting any. Chocolate releases the same endorphins as sex (yeah right) and therefore a yummy alternative to engaging in sexual activity.

You must consult your doctor before choosing this particular method of birth control, and check whether your insurance company will cover the costs. It is strongly advised not to fall behind or suddenly gorge on more than one chocolate at a time.

Having No Sex should not be used if you are easily horny and drunk, as this can counteract the effects of this method. HNS is not for ladies who like to wear short skirts, bar hop, or read Fifty Shades of Grey. Do not take HNS while operating heavy machinery including vibrators and electric toys. Risks include severe desperation.

Ask your doctor today about Having No Sex!

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Black Turkey

In Uncategorized on November 20, 2012 at 13:40

Aww the smell of mouth watering turkey, delicious homemade gravy, and the difficult question of who will get the last slice of pumpkin pie. Yep, it’s Thanksgiving already. One of our favorite holidays! A beautiful time to sit down to an amazing meal with the family and give thanks.

But while laughing with our loved ones and gnawing on a turkey leg, secretly we’re think of that big screen TV that’s about to go on sale in less than 24 hours. That glorious forty-inch flat screen with HD 3D eye retina high res who cares but we must have TV! And it’s 50% off! Or how about that X-Box deluxe gaming console/coffee maker your kids are nagging you about? It’s 40% off! Set the alarm, grab your rifle, and be the first one in line when those doors fly wide open. It’s black Friday. Why, just yesterday we were holding hands and giving thanks over a great big meal and today the real gobbling begins – gobble gobble those great bargains.

Now there is controversy over black Friday spilling into your actual Thanksgiving day, with some companies opening late Thursday evening. Once you’re finished scarfing down your meal, say good-bye to granny because it’s off to the stores. Poor workers who can’t even enjoy one day off for one of America’s biggest holiday. It’s straight back to work. So what’s worse: companies demanding their doors be open during Thanksgiving, or the demand in consumerism that drives the companies to do so, just to get that great deal? Shame on everyone! Sit down with your families and forget work and forget that glorious big screen TV with HD 3D  wifi touch screen capabilities, for just one day. Stop feeding your material hunger that ruins the earth and destroys families! Stop giving corporations incentives to destroy our humanity! And stop by Target on your way back from granny’s because that flat screen is going on sale for 60% with a surround sound theatre home system package deal. Yes! We love you Target!

* The X-Box/coffee maker does not exists but we hope so soon. What better way to entertain your kids and never get them out of the house.

New American Passport

In It doesn't walk on October 20, 2012 at 10:58

Some of us are having to renew our passports. We were shocked to receive the newest edition which has changed significantly. By shock we mean cringe with the loud American pride displayed on each page. What was wrong with the old one? Too plain and simple? But now the new ones send a clear message, That’s right, I’m an American. Every page has a beautiful image or symbol that truly respects what it is to be an American. Well, we hate the new passports and tacky display of over the top patriotism. Gasp! – what a horrible anti-American thing to say! One can be patriotic in a subtle and simple manner, and it doesn’t mean it’s less American. But someone at the government creative services got a little carried away with photoshop. We suggest making musical passports, like those Hallmark cards, and play the Star Spangled Banner. Every time you pass through customs, you will never be accused of being unAmerican. Stars and stripes forever!

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