Sabotage PR: Public Relations and Marketing Solutions

Archive for the ‘It doesn’t walk’ Category

New American Passport

In It doesn't walk on October 20, 2012 at 10:58

Some of us are having to renew our passports. We were shocked to receive the newest edition which has changed significantly. By shock we mean cringe with the loud American pride displayed on each page. What was wrong with the old one? Too plain and simple? But now the new ones send a clear message, That’s right, I’m an American. Every page has a beautiful image or symbol that truly respects what it is to be an American. Well, we hate the new passports and tacky display of over the top patriotism. Gasp! – what a horrible anti-American thing to say! One can be patriotic in a subtle and simple manner, and it doesn’t mean it’s less American. But someone at the government creative services got a little carried away with photoshop. We suggest making musical passports, like those Hallmark cards, and play the Star Spangled Banner. Every time you pass through customs, you will never be accused of being unAmerican. Stars and stripes forever!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Visually Unappealing Healthcare

In It doesn't walk on August 5, 2012 at 10:46

Without advertisements, there is nothing to do on a 20 min ride to Manhattan. Sure you could read Fifty Shades of Grey discreetly with your Kindle. But for the rest of us we rely on good old advertisements to entertain and inform.

So what the heck is this? Can’t help staring at the HealthPlus Amerigroup advert with this fun (cough) and innovative (cough) pitch to New Yorkers about health care plans. They must have contacted our good friends at Cheap and Ugly Communication Solutions. We hope vision insurance is part of their special deal.

You’re Fired!

In It doesn't walk on April 20, 2012 at 11:42

This is one of those inventions we really can’t understand. Who would invent this and more importantly who would buy this? It’s almost worse than the Onesie. It’s the Ostrich pillow which allows you to comfortably rest your head at your desk. Nothing says you look like a douche bag more than sporting this during your nap time. There goes your chance with the sexy co-worker down the hall and the boss will have your booty fired for embarrassing the company. Hopefully this is meant for people who work at home but really you should have a couch or bed.

 

 

Thank goodness it’s the weekend and you can nap all you want without this squid sucking your head. Have a good one everyone!

A scent worth your cent?

In It doesn't walk on April 16, 2012 at 12:01

We know fragrances are the hot buy for consumers. Fashion brands give to the lesser fortunate or label whores  the opportunity to own a piece of the image.  It’s another flooded market.

We understand the extension of a label’s product line and there are some seductive and tantalizing aromas on offer but we really don’t understand the celebrity perfume obsession. We’re able to conclude one thing: teenage girls are a market’s dream but a cultural disaster.  Teens and children are responsible for any tacky and tasteless trend out there. We are a celebrity obsessed society. More people read the gossip magazine rather than the Economist. The Economist, what is that?! Apparently it’s an intelligent read on politics, the economy, world issues, and industry. We wouldn’t know because the subscription to People is cheaper.

So what does a celebrity smell like? Of course these ‘celebrities’ are not aroma experts who travel to the hills of Indonesia to pick lavender from the windy fields. Instead the hired experts will be good at the mixology of scents and capturing the essence of one’s personality. A really good expert will know the perfect formula for masking the true qualities of a celebrity: ditziness, booze, rehab, lack of talent, and fakery. There is a difference between celebrities that have a fragrance and  being the face of a label. You can decide whether to purchase Dior because you love Natalie Portman or avoid. We recently saw an advert for Yankee (baseball team) fragrance. You want your man smelling like a sweaty dirty womanizing sports man?

To having your own fragrance you usually have to be a tacky celebrity, one adored by over-hormonal teens who worship anything. Second you either have no real talent or have been eaten by your public relations agent who only sees $$$$.  Finally the name of the scent is very important: Dream Whisperer, Midnight Madness, Seductive Harlot,  are a few made up by the Sabotage team.

Has the industry gone too far? Well you can’t argue with money or simply stop giving your teenage daughter money to buy silly crap. We think the best solution, the best scent, is to take a shower and find a nice deodorant. And if you need celebrity influence for your armpits, well surely those kind of endorsements will be coming soon.

The Coles are burning out

In It doesn't walk on February 26, 2012 at 23:03

Americans won’t be too familiar with Cheryl Cole but here in the UK we are being forced to accept this woman. There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s a typical beauty, nothing special but a pretty face. Her singing career has been successful with Girls Aloud and a solo album . We’d like to say her solo attempt borders tacky but we don’t want to upset the teens. Even the music industry knows when a dream is impossible and is desperately trying other ways to force Miss Cole into our hearts. We’ve had to endure those awful L’Oreal commercials with fake hair and lashes. Just hearing those lines being uttered makes one cringe. Now she has collaborated with StylistPick Shoes that are perfectly cutesy for anyone …. well cutesy and girlie.

Miss Cole has a hard working PR team pulling out all the tricks to get this young lady out there no matter what it takes. Sure it works because you can’t argue with money and little whiney girls saying, ” Mum I want that shampoo so I can have fluffy hair.”

We’re not anti-Cole here at Sab but we hate when celebrities reek of desperation  and there are several out there.

Sweet Success of M&M’s

In It doesn't walk on August 10, 2011 at 11:43

The classic M&M chocolate candies that melt in your mouth and not in your hand have never been so annoying. The latest M&M World has opened in London’s Leicester Square with four wonderful, we say that sarcastically, floors of good fun. The M&M branding has exploded over a vast range of products including pillows, tableware, glass figurines and badly photoshopped t-shirts. This cheerful funhouse is obviously aimed at kids and tourists, who will be delighted to have travelled across the world to see what Britain is most famous for, an installation of M&M’s crossing Abbey Road.
We prefer our sweets simplified without the surrounding circus and overpriced memorabilia so the best M&M’s can be found in your local newsagent.